When I wrote ‘8 of our children’s key psychological needs‘, I knew I’d eventually have to write the post about accepting feelings. If I’m honest, at the moment, I would say that this is the key psychological need your child has. I’ve put it off and I’m curious about why. Maybe because I know how…
Space: a key psychological need
What comes to mind when you read ‘space: a key psychological need’? Do you think of physical space – enough room to move? Or do you think of metaphorical space? Freedom to move? To think? To feel? Physical space What kind of space makes you feel safe? Do you like things to be ordered or…
How did I get here?
I used to be a big fan of Super Nanny. When I got a job as a nanny myself, I believed I was ready. I was armed with her arsenal of behavioural techniques. This made me quick to tell children off. I used the naughty step or ignored them if they weren’t doing what I…
My baby/toddler keeps hitting me – what can I do?!
Recently, I’ve been talking to parents about their baby or toddler hitting and how on Earth we get them to stop. “My baby is a great learner! Look at all the things they can do today that they couldn’t even do yesterday! Why can they not learn that I don’t like to be hit?! Every…
Power, choice and consent
***Possible trigger warning: discussion of power, choice and consent in childhood and adulthood, no explicit references*** Have you ever done something and thought ‘why on Earth did I do that?!’. Maybe you said something that you really wish you hadn’t. Maybe you did something that people might label as ‘mean’. I wonder how powerful you…
The power of connection
The more I write, the more I realise that everything I’m writing about comes back to the power of connection. To noticing our children and acknowledging their experiences, before we make judgments about their behaviour. Because usually, the judgments disappear when we do this. What does connection feel like? Think of a time when you…
Understanding boundaries
What are your thoughts about understanding boundaries? What do you think a boundary is? Often, people I work with think they are about strict rules and adhering to them. What if we reframe ‘boundaries’ to be about something else? Boundaries are about knowing about your own needs and meeting them. And being understanding and respectful…
Connecting with children
This is the key to reflective parenting, yet connecting with children can feel hard, time consuming and sometimes stressful. As parents, we often want to give our children all of our time and, because of this, we end up feeling unable to give any time. The great thing is that connecting with children doesn’t have…
8 of our children’s key psychological needs
Over the past week, I’ve been thinking about the core nuts and bolts of what our children’s key psychological needs. What do they need to thrive? I hear from a lot of parents who are worried that they aren’t doing enough of X or they are doing too much of Y. That their children are…
The Reflective Parenting Blog
Parenting is a minefield. Do this. Don’t do this. Do that. No, don’t do that. Your baby should be doing X. Your child definitely should not be doing Y. Oh wow, is your teenager still doing Z? There are loads of resources out there to ‘help’ you feel more confused and worse about how you’re…