Dear Maxine, Whenever my son is upset, my heart breaks. It’s got to the point where I find it difficult to go out because he gets so upset. I know I need to do stuff for me but it tears my heart apart when I see him so upset. I know he’s fine after a…
What do you notice about your child’s play? Recently, I’ve been thinking about how they always push themselves to learn that little bit extra. Have you noticed this? Or maybe your child doesn’t do that. Maybe your child still plays with the toys they were playing with when they were 3 months old, in the…
I used to be a big fan of Super Nanny. When I got a job as a nanny myself, I believed I was ready. I was armed with her arsenal of behavioural techniques. This made me quick to tell children off. I used the naughty step or ignored them if they weren’t doing what I…
Over the past week, I’ve been thinking about the core nuts and bolts of what our children’s key psychological needs. What do they need to thrive? I hear from a lot of parents who are worried that they aren’t doing enough of X or they are doing too much of Y. That their children are…
Parenting is a minefield. Do this. Don’t do this. Do that. No, don’t do that. Your baby should be doing X. Your child definitely should not be doing Y. Oh wow, is your teenager still doing Z? There are loads of resources out there to ‘help’ you feel more confused and worse about how you’re…
I’ve seen a number of posts recently encouraging mamas to ‘keep going even though it’s hard, even though you’re exhausted, keep going’. And I’m curious about what it is they’re encouraging us to keep doing. Is it not to give up on living? Or is it to keep running ourselves into the ground? I wonder…
Could this be the hardest part of self-compassion? Knowing our limits and accepting them? Noticing that we’re tired and accepting that we can’t do everything we had hoped. Noticing that we’re tired and not doing more than we would usually do, just to prove to ourselves that we can. Knowing that we don’t have enough…
Dear Maxine, Thank you for sharing your ideas for reflections, I find them really helpful. The only thing is I feel like it’s too late for me. My child isn’t a baby anymore and I’ve been an angry, stressed and controlling parent for so long, I don’t know how to come back from it. I’m…
Dear Maxine, I’m really struggling with my two year old. He doesn’t do anything I tell him to. I feel like the world’s worst parent because I don’t have any control over him. I can tell him not to do something 15 times and each time he’ll stop and then go straight back to it. Sometimes,…
Dear Maxine, I feel like a terrible parent. Recently, I have been so shouty with my child. She is just doing my head in. I feel like nothing I do for her is right and we’ve totally lost the connection we used to have. She’s angry all the time, which is making me angry all…
Dear Maxine, I love being a dad, it’s brilliant. I love my son and my partner and I want to be there for them as much as possible. But I am exhausted. I have our baby in the morning, go to work, come home, relieve my partner and then it’s bedtime/tidying time and I’m wiped…
Dear Maxine, Now that lockdown is easing and people can go out and do all the things they used to be able to, I’m starting to feel really boring and like I’m always putting a downer on plans, particularly with my friends who don’t have children yet. They are all really understanding and flexible, but…
Dear Maxine, Thank you for your original post on mental load. I found it helpful to think about what I’m carrying and how to manage it. I tried to share it with my partner and he responded with how unappreciated he felt. He said that he does so much for us and can’t believe that…
Dear Maxine, I love being a mum, but I’m finding it difficult to accept that as my only job. I used to work full-time and I really enjoyed my job. Although I’m so happy to stay at home with my children, I’m struggling with how society responds to me now that I don’t ‘work’. I…
