Being a parent is tough. Every child is different, they have different needs and bring out different parts of us. Working out how to be a ‘good enough’ parent can feel overwhelming and leave us lost, confused and dejected. Let alone finding time to take care of ourselves!
When your child is distressed or behaving in ways you’d rather they didn’t, it can be upsetting, worrying and/or plain annoying.
I have years of experience of improving relationships within families contact me now using the form to your right to ask a question or make a booking and help your family repair and reconnect.
My approach
Years of experience as a Child Psychologist in Sheffield and many other locations have taught me:
- Forget reward charts
- No naughty steps
- Ditch time-outs
Instead:
- Listen
- Understand where ‘naughty’ behaviour comes from
- Hold realistic expectations
- Discipline is a means of teaching, not controlling
- Time-ins
My history
I used to be a big fan of Super Nanny. I was quick to use the Naughty Step and enforce my power over the children in my care. After all, this is what society demands – children who are obedient, ‘well-behaved’, ‘good’ and adults who are powerful and ‘in charge’.
Years of experience as a Child Psychologist have taught me that these methods do not work. Or, at least, they do not work in the long run. They don’t teach children to respect themselves or think for themselves. Instead, they teach them to be fearful and let other people dictate for them.
Furthermore, when children are happier and feel comfortable with the adults around them, their behaviour usually reflects this.
Now, I work with parents to do things differently. First, we develop an understanding of what’s developmentally appropriate for each child we are thinking about. Second, we learn to observe their behaviour and think about its meaning. Third, we practise responding to the meaning underlying the behaviour, as opposed to the behaviour itself. Fourth, we develop methods for curbing behaviour that is not helpful.
Finally, parents can enjoy a different relationship with their children, that does not involve shouting, punishing or bargaining.
In addition, I work with parents to understand themselves. I find that this is the key to success – the more parents can understand themselves, the easier it is for them to understand their children.
In fact, I often find that when I work with adults, their relationships with their children blossom. Moreover, this is true even if they were not coming because they were worried about their children.
Who I work with as a Child Psychologist in Sheffield
I work with parents of children who:
- Have a lot of tantrums
- Seem shy or withdrawn
- Are anxious or have panic attacks
- Self-harm
- Have experienced some form of abuse or neglect
- Seem to find it difficult to manage their emotions
- Have panic attacks or experience anxiety
If your child is a teenager, it is possible that I will also offer them sessions.